(Un)dead math

Given my fixation on things zombie, @mattress2448 posed the following question to me:

If a vampire bites a zombie, will it turn into a zombie or will the zombie turn into a vampire?

My initial response was that the vampire would get zombified.  This assessment was challenged by several folks, so let's get all scientifical about it.

Since (shockingly I might add) there are few zombie or vampire related operands in math, I had to introduce the following:

vv = vampire bite
\\\ = zombie scratch
mm = zombie bite

Now, I believe the following are not contested

Zombie (Z1) mm Human (H) = Zombie (Z2)
Zombie (Z1) /// Human (H) = /// Human (H)
Vampire (V1) vv Human (H) = Vampire (V2)

Since the second equation about does not yield an outcome relevant to the question - we discard it.  But we did get to use the way cool /// symbol.  Now, solving for human...

mm H = Z2-Z1
vv H = V2-V1

Divide by vampire bite

(mm H) / vv = (Z2-Z1) / vv
H = (V2/V1) / vv

Substitute for H

mm (V2/V1 / vv) / vv = (Z2-Z1) / vv

Cross multiply

mm (V2/V1 / vv) / (Z2-Z1).....

Well...  OK, lemme work on this some more....

The Walking Dead Rankings

As we approach halftime in season 2 of The Walking Dead, I felt it was time to share my mid-season rankings on the characters' favor-ability in my eyes.

(Graphic novel character development omitted from this ratings)

1. Daryl Dixon 
2. Glenn
3. Rick Grimes
4. Otis  
5. Maggie Greene
6. Theodore "T-Dog" Douglas 
7. Carol Peletier 
8. Carl Grimes
9. Dale Horvath
10. Hershel Greene  
11. Well walker
12. Sophia Peletier (JUST SHOW UP DAMMIT)
13. Merle Dixon 
14. Lori Grimes
15. Andrea
16. Shane Walsh

Zombie on the hot seat

While I am truly enjoying the second season of Walking Dead, I have noticed the walkers have seemed much faster this season.  Suspiciously faster.  Could they be juicing?  I sat down with one of them and asked the hard questions...

INTERVIEW WITH A WALKER

KT: Good afternoon

W: argh hhmt zaaa
(I want to bite you)

KT: We'll see about that.  So, enjoying the second season of Walking Dead?

W: eerd cess toggo tommieees
(Outside of a crossbow bolt in my thigh and having some bad Chinese one night, a Mr. Chu I believe, can't complain)

KT: You seem to be much quicker this season.  Larger too.  I am also noticing some acne between your wounds.  How can you explain that?

W: toogh mantnaaa..gaaarrr... umgongga
(Well, I got a new trainer and try and to focus on small meals more often... jockeys and such)

KT: I have your CDC tests here.  You have tested positive for performance enhancing drugs SIX times this season.  No action was taken because you have tended to eat the lab staff.

W: yraaaa... leeee strr
(Yum... lab staff...)

KT: What about those results?

W: rugurt grammen fof fofft noginess cuuuverttta joog joog
(Hey, I can't control what the people I eat take, it is not like they wear labels... unless it is a jersey with Bonds on the back... heh heh)

KT: The test levels were far too high for second hand consumption, the reflect that YOU consumed the drugs

W: dovaaas cusssooun ratiii aaaagg uuun
(Well, my trainer DID give me something, but he said it was flaxseed oil.  It tasted a little funny, so I ate his elbow.)

KT:  Flaxseed oil?  Really?  Your hat size would have increase 3 sizes if you still had all your head left!

W: eeeerg
(This interview is OVER)

KT: Fine.  Ah, Mr. Dixon?  Would you be so kind as to help our guest leave?

Mr. Dixon: (cocking crossbow) Damn happy to.