I need a life...

Who Stole my Death Star?

After multiple viewings of various episodes during my beloved SpikeTV Labor Day Star Wars Marathon (in honor of the Death Star construction workers, AT AT line workers, and the Oompa Loopma warthogs manning the furnace conveyor on Bespin I guess), I have determined Palpatine is an outstanding business role model.

Think about it...

1. He rapidly rose from a lowly senator representing the most annoying planet in the Republic to Emperor
2. He secured a spiffy cadre of guards AND color coded them 
3. EVERYONE took his calls 
4. Plus the whole lightening from the fingers thing. Frick'n awesome. 

Now, I am not pointing this out just because many (rightly) have determined Palpatine and I likely have exact matching results on Pace Color Palette testing.

Honest.
 

Sometime during my third viewing of Return of the Jedi, I determined I could have rocketed up the old corporate turbo-lift had I limited my comments to the following gems he offered in the movie:

• Now witness the firepower of this fully ARMED and OPERATIONAL (PowerPoint, white paper, business model, etc.) 
• I wonder if your feelings on this matter are clear 
• Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen 
• You will find that it is you who are mistaken, about a great many things 
• Only now, at the end, do you understand... 
• Now, you will pay the price for your lack of vision! 

It's never too late. I'll put these into action from here on out. 

Not sure if I'll sport the robe as well, but it is tempting.

An Open Blog Post to Google

Dear Google,

I submitted my request for access to "App Inventor" several weeks ago and have yet to hear back. I am not sure you fully comprehend the opportunity loss you are facilitating by not granting me access. I am teeming (in a good way) with clever ideas to publish to the Android Market. Ideas that may sway owners of the "other" phone to switch - simply to gain access to "Kelly's Thuls"

Editor's note: My last name is pronounced "tool", making "Kelly's Thuls" pretty darn clever. Oh, and by the way, "Kelly" is not a girl's name. It means "warrior". Quite manly if you ask me.

To dispel any doubt on the magnitude of the relative coolocity of my app ideas, allow me to frame just one up:

DrunkTweeter

Typing is hard when you are drunk. If you are REAL drunk, Android's awesome voice entry also becomes of limited value. DrunkTweeter provides large, easy to hit buttons so you can send one of several likely tweets. These include:

• Heeey, your cuuute :)
• I'll be home soon
• I never liked you
• Are you mad at me? You seem mad at me.
• More shots!!!
• Heeeey buddddy - whatz uuuuuuuuuuuuuup????

There. So now your mistake should be clear. No apology necessary, just grant me access soon.

If you really feel compelled to make amends, I am open to you chatting with Motorola to assist in securing me the R2D2 Droid 2. It seems like a small, but fitting gesture.

X-wing rocket launch...

... and subsequent BOOM!

Someone had a tad too much time on their hands, but very cool.

You might want to watch this this version to see what REALLY happened.