New night (again!).   #Snarkalec Radio live stream starts around 7pm CST...  http://youtu.be/UylaDurL2j4 

Rating Bad

SPOILER ALERT - this post comments on events on the current season of Breaking Bad.  If you are not caught up to the current episodes and don't want to see any spoilers on these, best to move along.  Oh, and shame on you.

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I decided a little late that I would do some scoring for the last 8 episodes of Breaking Bad, so you'll get two episodes in this post.  Characters can get scores of -2, -1, 0, +1, or +2 each week.  Typically I won't comment on the "0"s.  But sometimes I will.  Exciting, isn't it??

Scoring is scientifically based on how awesome or unawesome I found the character in the episode.  Since I am a HUGE Saul Goodman fan, he probably has a bit of an edge here.  But he should, because he is awesome.  Monkey in the banana patch awesome.

Season 5, episode 9 - Blood Money

Walt (0)  It was like your heart wasn't into effectively lying to Jesse on the couch about not killing Mike.  Plus you reminded me you killed Mike.  And you called Jesse "son".  Ew.  Your "tread lightly" was a late save from a "-1".

Jesse (0)  Props for having a soul.  Score lowered due to improper appreciation of Badger's Star Trek episode.

Skyler (-1)  When someone is pitching an air fresher placement strategy, you need to play more attention.

Hank (+1)  Not many people can pull off an interesting "sorting through files" montage.

Marie (-2)  Perhaps you could notice your husband is in full melt down mode instead of musing about vacation plans next time.

Lydia (-1)  For not taking Mike's sunglasses advice and not delivering a spinning back kick to Skyler in the car wash parking lot.  Plus washing a rental?  Really?

Saul (+1)  For calling Jesse Woody Harrelson

Francesca (+1)  Is is not easy managing the 7th ring of hell waiting room.

Badger (+2)  For the aforementioned Star Trek piece and how you told it.  Just gotta write it down dude!

Skinny Pete (+1)  For the Voyager clarification.

Season 5, episode 10 - Buried

Walt (+1)  Dude can dig and has a better memory than I.

Jesse (+1)  Not a single line, yet you conveyed so much.

Skyler  (+1)  "Am I under arrest?" was a solid follow up to "SHUT UP!".  Plus you stuck Hank with the bill.

Hank (-1)  Real smooth with the tape recorder Hank.  Not.

Marie (+1)  SLAP!  But stop trying to steal things... like.. oh... a BABY.

Saul (+2)  Ah Saul, "trip to Belize", "It is an option that has worked very well for you in the recent past.", "this is a safe room", "Monkey is in the banana patch"... could you be more awesome?

Hulle (+2)  Was on fire this episode.. money laying, Mexico-pitching, overtime seeking FIRE.  Ain't no thing!

Kuby (+2)  Two words.  Scrooge.  McDuck.  Great week for Saul and his A-Team!

Lydia (+1)  While I can not understand, I respect your shoe commitment.

Todd (+1)  For being the politest psychopath EVER.  Your world's evilest boy scout helping the lady across the  massacre aftermath was nice too.  How is the tarantula doing?

Uncle Jack (+2)  For the "Really?" while watching a closed-eyed Lydia tiptoe through the bloodshed, plus the "Fire in the hole!", plus you scare me.


Totals/Leader Board

1. Saul (+3)
2. Uncle Jack (+2)
3. Badger (+2)
4. Huelle (+2)
5. Kuby (+2)
6. Walt (1)
7. Jessie (1)
8. Todd (1)
9. Skinny Pete (1)
10. Francesca (1)
11. Skyler (0)
12. Hank (0)
13. Lydia (0)
14. Marie (-1) 

If you vehemently disagree with any of the above, add a comment and I will consider your feedback and perhaps adjust.   Just be more convincing than Walt on the whole "Mike thing".

Thank you and have an A-1 day!

So, want an autograph from Ving Rhames and Gerald Webb?

Of COURSE you do, and it couldn't be easier.

You may recall my post about this Internet radio thing @tonysolo, @karmic9, and I are trying out.  We are 12 episodes into it - and so far so good.  In fact, recently - so far so definitely good.

In episode 11 we were joined by Allison Victoria.  Allison was "Girl in boat" in Swamp Shark.  We thought she should have been "Girl on dock", but she straightened us out on the show.  Listen and learn.  Allison rocks.

In episode 12, Gerald Webb joined us.  Gerald has been in a multitude of movies (where he usually dies).  His appearance in Zombie Apocalypse was notable for two reasons:

1. He croaked crazy fast (like within the first 10 minutes) and..
    
2. He died wearing a HIDEOUS shirt.  Actually, the term I used that night was "ugly ass shirt", but details.. details...

So, clearly Gerald knows his ugly shirts.  In addition to being awesome and joining us on the show, he went to awesome level 2 by offering up the script cover page of Zombie Apocalypse (called The Last Stand at the time) with autographs from the main cast including Vhing Rhames and Gerald!!

This will be rewarded to the ugliest shirt pic we get.  Gerald will be the judge.

DEADLINE EXTENDED... 

You now have until WEDNESDAY JUNE 5 to send your pic!!

So....

1. Find your ugliest shirt
2. Snap a pic of you wearing it
3. Tweet it to @tonysolo with the hashtag #uglyassshirt or email it to SnarkAlecGuest@gmail.com
4. Or, sent it to me in to social network of your choice and I'll get it where it needs to go (lazy bones!)

More info here, now GET TO IT!!!

https://sites.google.com/site/snarkalecs/information/snarkalecradio

Oh.. almost forgot.  @YeungJeans of Bring Out Your Geek, and someone who blogs about 50 times better than me, recently pointed out to me that a blog post kinda sucks if it doesn't include at least one pic... so to close, here is a cat in a sombrero....

Radio waves

Hopeful radio waves
Dopeful radio waves

Roger Waters - Radio Waves

We are about 8 shows into our "SnarkAlecs" Internet radio show on Live 365's Loud N Loaded Station.  Fun fact: I am incapable saying those last 6 words in order and correctly on ANY of our past shows.

So far so good.  I'm very appreciative that @officialpagan * extended this opportunity to us and actually joined us for our second show.  During his visit, we all bonded over our contempt of The Walking Dead's Andrea.  

@yeungjeans * has done two shows with us, including a painful reliving of Troll 2.  She took FOUR pages of notes to prepare for that episode.  I was equally impressed and dismayed.  She is simply an amazing person to talk to, and keep an eye out for her upcoming videocast Bring Out Your Geek

@Holidill joined us for the big The Walking Dead recap and even shared an interpretive dance recounting of the final episode.  Interpretive dance is ALWAYS good radio (awesome Milton BTW @Holidill).

@dawnsnarks * did the next show with us, and outside of the crazy talk the chocolate wine is actually fit for human consumption, she came up aces.

@muderalotta's appearance was the perfect trifecta of Comic Con insight, collectibles, and professional wrestling tidbits.

Which brings us to my co-conspirators Mel (@kmaric9 *) and Tony (@tonysolo *).  When Tony asked if I would be interested in doing this show, I did my usual .005 seconds of introspection and replied....

Sure.

I so glad I did - it has been a blast.  The blend of Tony's passion and eye for the details, Mel's serious movie/book/thinkgeek cred along with her remarkable fusion of candor and kindness, and my general strangeness work well together I think.  The fact we all actually are interested in what the other people have to say helps too.

I also have to thank the group of like minded folks out there that catch us live streaming off Tony's YouTube channel each Thursday around 8pm EST (and then, of course, re-listen repeatedly on Live 365).  Special props to @TScottBrave for engineering some sort of combination of a golf cart, mobile phone, and neighbor's wifi to catch one show.  Keep live tweeting at us with the #snarkalecs hashtag. Tony and Mel have lifted the "No Twitter for Kelly during the show" ban (focus issues, legit) and we will all keep trying to do a better job in staying on top of them live.

One of the happiest accidents in working with Tony and Mel is the following video.  Mel said the "Yay Google, yay zombies" as only she can, Tony came up with the idea to mash up a bunch of folks repeating it and rounded up a bunch of volunteers, and I cobbled it together.  As an extra bonus, we even cajoled Allison Victoria/@allisonvic ("Girl in Boat" in Swamp Shark) and Christina Bach/@ladystage (Dana in 2 Headed Shark Attack) to join in the fun.

Enjoy

footnote

* = while my words may have stumbled into what might be incorrectly interpreted as positive territory for these individuals, let me remind my readers that they are all ENEMIES OF THE STATE, ULTRA-ENEMIES OF THE STATE, or both.  Just to be clear here.

Top of my "to do" list

I plan to add this on the front page of every paper notebook I use, my iPad and phone splash screens, on a card in my wallet, on the back of my watch, taped to the back of the all remote controls at home, as a fob on my key chain, etc...

Hi!  I belong to Kelly Thul.   

He is an idiot. 

I, like many of his belonging, are not physically attached to him.  This puts us at risk.  This also allowed me to me you.  Hi again!  Kelly has set me down and walked away.  It will be some time before he realizes I am gone.  Then he will try and retrace his steps.  This is sad to watch. 

He can't help himself, so it is up to us to help him.  Would you please return me to Kelly?  I am sure we will meet again.

So anyway...

Doing a little travel today.  Allow me to recap:

• Flight 1 was supposed to leave at 10:45
• Immediate delay to 12:00.... connection will be tight
• Additional delay until 1:00... Well, now I am screwed
• We board.  We fly.  We land.  
• Connecting flight was delayed. Yay!  
• New departure time is in 2 minutes in Gate Gazillion Miles Away A. Dammit.
• Arrive panting at the gate.  Attendant, let's call him "Mr. I Misjudged You Initially", says "we're closed".  I explain I just ran to this gate and missed the flight.  He books me on the next flight and explains it leaves in 15 minutes at Gate Half a Gazillion Miles Back, Remember You Passed It".  Sigh
• Rush to new gate to to be treated to a new delay announcement.
• Board.  Push off. Eventually.
• We stop. The pilot, let's call him "Capt. Sack of Lying Crap That I Will Grow to Hate" says "Weather is picking up and we are 15-20 back in line to depart.  No clue when that will be.  Go ahead and use your electronics".  The "Because we ain't going anywhere." was implied
• 20 minutes pass. Then Capt. Crap offers "Will be in the air in 3-5 minutes. PREPARE DAS CABIN".  You have given me hope Capt. 
• 30 minutes (yes 30) later, he shares "Um, the tower is requiring a four minute gap between all departing flights. We a 4th in line.  That means we will leave in (long pause for mental math) in like 16 minutes".  Riiiiight
• 40 minutes later, we take off.
• 2 seconds after we we can use electronics, I pay for inflight wifi to post this.
• I feel better.

Hypothetically...

Imagine someone accidentally sent an e-mail to a VERY large distribution list. Then the first person responds back, replying to all, that they got this in error and would like to be removed from the list.

Just guessing here, but I expect you might see upwards of 38 more emails saying things like...


Please don’t reply all with your responses

Please don’t reply to ALL

DO NOT REPLY TO ALL.  There is 5000 people on this list.  Delete it and move forward…

Please stop replying to all.  I think we all got this in error

PLEASE DON’T REPLY ALL, THIS DISTRIBUTION LIST IS HUGE

 

This was obviously sent in error.  Are you people so lame that you can’t figure it out?  There are 5000 people on this list.  Geez…

 

Stop Replying to ALL!

 

PLEASE DO NOT REPLY TO ALLLLLLLL

 

If you got this email in error please do not reply to it we have found the issue. (We do not need 5000 replies.)

And wouldn't it be ironic if EVERYONE of the emailers above... yes, you guessed it, replied to all.

 

Looks like these guys were right... http://www.fiercecio.com/node/3760 

This is why radio stations are the first military target

As my Twitter followers are painfully aware, most Saturday nights I live tweet the 8:00 PM CST movie on Syfy.  This has provided two significant benefits:

1. I have ended up meeting a lot of kindred spirits, most of which are much funnier than I am.

2. I scored the ACTUAL PROP USED AS THE PIRANHACONDA EGG!!!

Last week, a couple of us began a new adventure where we talk about: the previous Syfy movie, The Walking Dead, zombie preferences, and whatever else crosses our minds on Live365 on the Loud N Loaded station.  Loud N Loaded mostly plays hard rock and heavy metal, and our show "The Snarkalecs" pops into the rotation as a sort of headbanger sorbet.  (There is a Snarkalec website if you care to learn more about what that is all about).

So, each Thursday the Parade of Regional Accents... Tony/@TonySolo (East Coast), Melissa/@karmic9  (Texan), and I (Midwest mumbler) are chatting about "stuff".  In a cruel twist of fate, my face made for radio, as well as the more video friendly visages of Tony and Mel actually broadcast live on YouTube.  That feed is then cleaned up and placed on Loud N Loaded.

So, if you want to catch us live, head to YouTube any Thursday at (usually) 7:00 PM CST.  If you do, please tweet us. I would be cool to interact that way as well.  Mel and Tony are funny and smart, and I won a Piranhaconda egg.

Even better, check out the Loud N Loaded station on Live 365 and like it, plus it and/or tweet it.  We are looking to add the show to iTunes as a podcast sometime in the future as well.

Did I mention I scored the ACTUAL PROP USED AS THE PIRANHACONDA EGG!!!

#Hashtags #BonusCut

So, Facebook decided to add hashtags immediately dating part of my post from YESTERDAY.

http://news.cnet.com/8301-1023_3-57574417-93/facebook-to-finally-add-hashtags-says-wsj/

#bastards.

Thanks to @tchapman80 for altering me #notabastard

#Hashtags

I remain convinced Twitter is the best social networking platform.  The main reasons why are:

1. It an interest-based, verses relationship-based, framework
2. It is the most timely and least cluttered channel
3. Hashtags

As far as I am concerned, next to fire and the wheel, hashtags are the greatest human discovery.  Talk about flexibility... 

Grouping: I hate the Packers #Bears

Exclamation: I hate the Packers #GoBears

Asides: I hate the Packers #justsayin

Summary: I hate the Packers #GoBears #ToothlessFans #MatthewsIsRoidedUp

Statement: #FrickenPackers

Hashtags belong to the people. They can't be owned. You decide how to use them. You can't use them "wrong".  Ok, actually you can.  Here are my rules:

1. Unless it is part of a hashtag game, put them at the end
2. Use no more than three 
3. #Longhashtagsareokbutonlyifthereareworthit
4. As illustrated in this post, your call on the use of capital letters
5. OK to use in Twitter, G+, Tumbler, and Instagram
6. Not OK to use in Facebook or e-mails (I am exempt from this rule)

Finally, I would like to claim credit for two very useful hashtags:

#improvedbyaddingzombies

#depressingpoemstarts (most often utilized with a retweet)
  

And while this concept well predates hashtags, I think we all can agree the world is a better place if the was more widespread use of...

#greatbandname

Ohno Scale

The usual suspects ("Snarkalecs") were in play for this Saturday's live tweeting of one of SyFy's B-movies... Tasmanian Devils.  It was a good night.  People were on their game and we had the bonus of the director (@zachlipovsky) and the heroine (@danicamckellar aka Winnie Cooper) engaging with us as we do what we do.

Anyway, Tasmanian Devils featured Apolo Ohno.  Briefly.

Within the first 5 minutes or so, Apolo jumped off a cliff, fell quite a distance, and was impaled by a stalagmite.  Shortly thereafter he was removed.  Not pulled up and off, but rather removed more... ummm... laterally.  The fact that his character was named "Stone" was a nice touch.

As you might imagine, this was quite the death scene.  It was so good that @LisaMarieBowman indicated it would be the bar to judge all future exits - coining the term "Ohnotastic".  @SnarkySeal then suggested a greater formalization of the Ohno metric.  Sadly, @SnarkySeal's "mathy parts" were impaired due to some sort of chocolate wine overload, so I decided to take a shot.

So I am offering the following proposed method.  Fellow Snarkalecs, please review and offer improvements, redirection, whatever in the comment section for this post.

Ohnotasic Scoring

• Since Apolo's death was a perfect 10, it serves as the highest possible score and is base lined at 10 Ohnos
• A death that approaches its greatness might score something like 9.3 Ohnos
• You can't score higher than 10 Ohnos
• Negative Ohnos are allowed  

An optional additional metric is available for celebrity departures in these movies.  Yes, I know Apolo is kind of a celebrity, just deal with it.  The celebrity scale is based on Fatones (in honor of Joey's exit from Jersey Shore Shark Attack)

Fatone Celebrity Scoring

• Fatones also use 10 as the highest possible score... 10 Fatones
• 10 Fatones are slightly less than 10 Ohnos.  Apolo really went more to 11 figuratively, literally, you have to stick with 10 though
• A death can be scored using both if you are an overachiever
• D list celebrities and below are allowed to be scored with Fatones

Editors note:  I REALLY wanted to use "Coopers" (based on Alice Cooper getting drop kicked by Bigfoot) as the celebrity metric, but @TonySolo (rightfully) indicated the Fatone exit was more popular.  This speaks poorly of us as a society, but I am not bitter.

Actually, I am bitter.

I mean I could have used a distance component related to how far Alice flew. like: "WOW, that was easily 120 Cooper-feet"), but nooooo.  Everyone loves Fatone.  Whatever.

Comment away gang.

P.S. I pondered offering up a Danica metric, but I self-editted.

Oh, and be sure to visit the Snarkalec website to learn more than you probably want about the Saturday evening live tweeting crew.