- stop Achilles tendons from rupturing
- make you pleasant
- empower you to execute a strongly tied shoelace
- enable you to recall names or faces of people
I'd thought I share a few techniques that have failed me in managing the e-mail beast...
By Date, Bottom Up (Attrition is Your Friend)
Start at the bottom of the list. Many people there have probably given up, died, or failed to pass on the request they made to me to their offspring.
By Date, Top Down (Prove You are Alive and of Some Use)
One by one, read, then understand, then respond. Move on. Unfortunately this is hard and requires thinking. I wind easily.
Sort By Name, Work it by Person (Who Do I Want to Hate Me Less?)
This showed some promise, but it would worked a heck of a lot better if NEW people just stopped fricking e-mailing me.
Focus on the Critical/Flagged E-mail (Yeah I See Your Stupid Red Exclamation Point)
Kinda worked, but so many of my old e-mails reappear wrapped in urgent clothing. They join the first generation urgents. The numbers grow. I lose heart.
Sort by Subject (What the Hell, Worth a Shot)
Very interesting method providing limited results.
So it is clear I can't help myself.
There are some strategies others have tried with some success (honest!):
- Use "Hey Stupid" in the subject line. I offered this up as a tactic. Some folks REALLY took a liking to it. Like Tanning Mom to skin cancer liking it.
- It has been said e-mails taking the time to insult me have a higher response rate. My whole "Hey Stupid" framework seems to support that.
- Tweet me. This seems to work. I like Twitter. Twitter doesn't judge you. DMs aside, Twitter lacks an inbox. I loathe inboxes.
Stupid out.
